Monday, December 21, 2020

Ruminations in the Covid Era

Hell, I don't remember when I last visited this place, when I last wrote, and when I last hit the pause button in my life. 

I just read the most recent post on my blog, and I don't even remember writing it. That's how crazy this past year has been. 

But no matter what, no matter how much time goes by, this page is something I keep coming back to, like old, cherished, aged love. It has grown and warped with me, it has kept all my secrets, and it is an integral, if redundant, part of my soul and my existence. 

This past year has brought me so many tough lessons, so much love, so much laughter, and so many tears. It's brought so much anxiety and isolation for each of us. 

But it's also brought us the gift of time, and the opportunity of hit reset, to recharge, and to start anew. 

And started I have, in more than one way. A new job, a new country, a new life, a new miracle. A new life skill. New achievements. New ambitions. 

Everything is suddenly so different, both inside and out. The very fabric of my being has changed, just like the very fabric of the universe has changed this year. 

I've grown into love and I've grown into being a new, different me. I've worked and worked and worked and been so proud of everything I've done. 

And although I don't have much to show for anything, the fact is that my soul and my heart has stretched and grown to a whole new dimension. 

This was a fantastic year, inspite of everything, or maybe because of it. And respite seems nowhere close. There's a vaccine on the horizon, as well as a new virus strain. There is so much uncertainty. 

I've found that being away from home is what truly lets you appreciate the miracles and small mercies of the country you call "home", and awakens this craving within you to visit that familiar and beloved land once again. Nothing and no one can replace the comfort of being amongst your people, in your land, and running through the streets you grew up in. 

I've been away from writing, but not from reading. I've found another skill I'm really good at, editing, it helps me cut through everything and focus with razor sharp attention on one task at a time, one task only-the job, the deadline, the words. I find I quite like working this way. 😍

I'm missing my first love, dermatology, but I'm so thankful for the blessing I've received in the form of other work opportunities in this tough time. 

I have loved moving to a new country and building up a life from scratch, I love my new found independence and I love my daily hustle. 

There is nothing and no one I would exchange that for. 

As 2020 finally comes to a close, I know the next year is going to be pretty darn amazing, even more difficult than I could possibly imagine, and definitely very memorable. 

I'm so thankful for all the blessings in my life, for everything that has been, for everything that is going to be, and for right this moment where I'm at right now, and for the way life and God have taught me so much and changed me for the better. I'm thankful to the universe for everything it has given me.

I'm just passing along my thanks and my thoughts now. 

- Aayushi. ❤️

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