Of Love and Hate (Of the self)

Hey everyone...(my imaginary readers)!

So I just read this post on my facebook feed and it made me want to say and write lots and lots of things. It reminded me of this forgotten place, my first love, my blog.

Well, here I am. It's been a long journey this past year, and I just want to say to everyone out there, possibly reading this and struggling to make it through some rough times - Do what EVER you need to do to survive. Keep yourself happy. Your happiness is wholly and solely your responsiblity and being selfish is the first step towards being happy. Accepting that you're not ok, and putting in effort to take care of yourself and pamper yourself works wonders for your mental health.

So if that means you have to eat icecream everyday, go for it. If it means saying no to the world and yes to yourself, go for it. If it means taking a break from work and travelling, go for it. If it means taking a social media blanket break, hell, go for it! Because it's your life, it's your health, it's your heart we are talking about. And nothing is too much as far as taking care of yourself and your heart goes.

You are bloody important, and it's time you realised that.

Sometime last year I started a 100 days of happiness challenge. It was simple and in its simplicity it was miraculous how much it helped me to find happiness in the little things in life.

From then to now, sooo much has happened and I've grown so much.

Life has taken a 360 degree turn. To begin with, I've left Mumbai (something I never dreamt I would do) and moved to a new city, a new life. I've finished my quota of getting through various losers who teach you life lessons and heartbreaks and had my share of growing pains dealt to me.

AND I've met my now husband who, though he didn't come to me dressed as a knight in shining armour on a white horse; he did get me pizza on our first date AND didn't hesitate to serve me first (instead of the other way round) before gorging on his own food. It was so path breaking for me, I almost sang Hallelujah! Yep. Right there, in Amdavad. That's where the magic happened.

And although it took me long enough to recognise the knight (in disguise) that he was, it's been fabulous to finally reach the end of this long journey and meet the person I am supremely happy to spend the rest of my life with.

In other news, I saw the movie "Angrezi mein Kehte hai" yesterday and I duly, and expectedly, loved it. The alternate story of Suman/Feroze portrayed in the movie was refreshing. The main storyline had its quirks but overall loved the message they sent. I only wish the hero didn't start dressing so gaudily the moment he realised he was in love... (like SRK in Rab ne bana di jodi?)

So it seems that I have now left Mumbai, the city of dreams, and moved to Ahmedabad, the heartland of Gujjus. I feel like I am going to be elaborating on this A LOT in my future posts.

I am trying very, very hard, to not develop a gujju accent, But I fear it may happen sooner or later! :P

I shall surely , definitely, maybe keep you posted.

Until the next time life comes around, and drags me up or down, I hope you all have a lovely day.

Don't forget, the secret to your happiness - "Be Selfish".

Bye!

Credits: sandserif

28.

It's almost 3 hours to go for my 28th birthday and it's been such a mixed-up, mish mash of a day...ermm..year!

I didn't want to write a reflective post, and this blog is usually my happy place, but I feel like for once it's time to be a tad reflective.

Or maybe, maybe, it is time to get up onto some rooftops and shout to myself - "Look how far you've come! Look at where you're standing!"

These days I am so very fascinated with the concepts of happiness and sadness. How social construct affects our perceptions of our life. How some people manage to be genuinely, intensely, carelessly happy, inspite of every hardship life throws at them; and how others tend to drown in sadness at every little hitch (or perceived shortcoming) in their path.

I wonder at how difficult it really is to change your inner equilibrium; the one you were born with and/or acquired over the years; to change that and to train yourself into becoming something you're not. We read and know of so many inspiring, amazing success stories. People who have seen and overcome unforeseeable circumstances. All of us know someone like that - either in our personal lives or in the form of persons we've admired; stories we've read about.

People, in general, tend to persevere. People shine. People go on. People triumph. People live.They beat the odds.

How is it then that some of us get caught in the quagmire of life and are just unable to find our shine? The exact frequency we were supposed to be attuned to? Some of us spend our entire lives feeling like we're out of tune with the world. Some of us just can't stop feeling like there's something wrong, somewhere.

Maybe this is what mental illness is. Maybe this is what it looks like.

I'm sure most of us don't understand what goes on in another person's head. Everyone's mind is a beautiful place. Only difference being, some of us get the morning light kind of beauty, and others get the midnight storm kind of one.

I think that's probably what happiness and sadness are all about. Light and storm. And maybe, just maybe, it's possible to graduate from one to another. To find the light in the middle of a storm. To balance all that shine with some rain.

And isn't that what we're all really trying to do?

Let's stop trying to make our lives a competition, for once. A sad rat race of who shines brighter. Let's focus on ourselves, only ourselves, for a change. Let's shine for ourselves. Let's weather storms by ourselves.

Let's love ourselves. 

Let's just BE ourselves.

Halsey once sang - "I hope you make it to the day you're 28 years old."

I officially made it. 

Let's see what happens next, shall we?