Hello! 2016

I suppose it's that time of the year once again. That time to take stock and to remember your deserted blog. (AND I've started rhyming even in prose!)

I remember writing on this blog, sometime last year; that 2015 was going to be a year that matters. Well, it did turn out to be that, and much more.

So in the end, here I am, sitting in front of my PC, one day to go for year-end, and I am happy. And that's primarily why it was a year that mattered.

More than anything, this year, I've learnt to own my words once again, something that makes me very very happy. So hello world, this is me, Aayushi, and I write. All the time.

So yes, even though I haven't sufficiently veered off-course yet (as far as my blog writing traditions go), here are some of the things I've come to realise this year. That, combined with the cumulative experience of my 27 years of existing on this planet :P

(As usual, I'm back to dispensing gyaan for free on my personal blog. I'm quite full of myself that way.)

What was the topic at hand? Ah, here are the things I learnt -

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Want to be happy? Only you can and should be responsible for your own happiness. Counting on someone else just doesn't pan out in the long run. People leave. People die. People change. People change their minds. People get busy. So count on yourself. No one knows better than me how difficult this actually is in practice, to be responsible for your own happiness, when you're not happy per se. But try this. Put yourself first. Your happiness before everyone else's. Be selfish. Do whatever you want/need. Make yourself happy. And see where that takes you. I promise you, it will work, if you try.

Make your health a priority. Your body is wonderful, but it has it's limitations. Take care of it. Exercise, breathe, meditate. Rest. Stay fit. Exercising is also one of the best ways to improve your mental health and your body image.

Find your passions and pursue them. Pursue them relentlessly. Unabashedly. Stop thinking about what will they think. Do what you like. You will look back and be happy that you did.

Live alone. Travel alone. Shop alone. I haven't really done all of these in the strictest sense of the term, but I have sort-of done these, and I would love to do more of these next year. However I do always shop alone, and it is the fastest way to get that job done!

Get out of your comfort zone. Do things that make you uncomfortable/anxious. Expand your horizons. That's the only way to keep your life interesting, and to let yourself learn and grow. Even if you end up as a sad blubbering mess of jumbled up words, do it. Just because, the next time you try that particular thing, you won't mess up that bad.

Acquire one new skill. (I haven't really acquired any this last year, I'm sorry to report. However, I may have sort of learnt the very fine art of saying no; something that is quintessential to your survival in society at large). So yes, skills. Someday, you will come to realise that you are an adult, with responsibilities, and when that happens, the only things you have to count on are yourself, your skills, and your education. So keep learning. And acquire one new skill every year, atleast.

Write letters. And not online ones. No e-letters. No blog posts or Facebook posts. This is one of the best things I learnt this year. Write actual letters. Sign them. And put them in an envelope. A letter becomes an almost miraculous thing. Something to be cherished forever. Something which can be stored, re-read, which can actually be felt with your hands. Not a link to the internet. Not the backlight of your phone screen showing you some words. An actual letter. On paper. Addressed to you in an envelope. A story someone decided to tell you. A message someone wrote down just for you. Explore this bit of magic in the world.

Write a letter to someone you love, today. And hand it over to them. It will be truly awesome.

Don't forget to take time out for yourself. Stop, pause. Take a break. Take a vacation. Take that day off. You will work much better on the rest of the days.

I don't want this post to sound like all of those on thoughtcatalog.com (I do realise that is an irony), but yeah, read thoughtcatalog.com. It's just fun and probably quite useful. I mean, thoughtcatalog.com might be some of the most sensible advice some people get, about anything. Keep visiting to get new ideas and perspectives about your own life.

Work hard. Because really, nothing can be more satisfying or make you happier. Find what drives you and start moving up that ladder. Start paving the way for your success.

Find the people and the things that make you laugh. And don't let go of them. ;)

Teach. Discover the joy of imparting knowledge, of influencing someone, changing their mind and helping them grow in a minor way. When you notice that small spark of respect in their eyes, or receive an affectionate thank you, that's when you'll realise how important it is to teach. Start giving back what was once given to you.
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Okay I have (finally) started to feel very preachy, so I am going to stop. (Also I have run out of things to further preach about. I just wanted to say hi to you all. That was the entire point of this post!).

Ending this post with a poem, one of my favorites from this year. Just because.

See you all next year. Comments are most welcome. I will try my best to reply, I swear on 2015.

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Let's be a poem (Version III)

You be the beginning
(Once upon a time)
The pirate at sea who
Wears a black patch o'er his eye

I’ll be hiding somewhere
Lost amidst these lines -
The maiden who doesn’t know
Where her true heart lies

You bring in the story
I’ll stir up the rhymes,
You tell all the jokes
I’ll be the laughter that chimes

You can be the syntax
(Words that sit together just right)
I’ll be the grammar
(Compulsively correcting from the sides)

You'll be the narrator
I, the script writer,
You, the lead actor
I, the paramour

You say all the words
I’ll add the punctuation,
You start all our songs
I’ll bring in the rhythm

You be the black ink
That scribbled all over my white,
Together making a picture ,
So pleasing to the eyes

You be the syllables
That leave behind many a sigh
And I will be the images
To fill up the reader’s mind

Oh we could be a poem, we could,
You,
And I.

-Aayushi Mehta (2015).

Don't give up on the things that make you smile

This blog needs some serious lovin' from me. I've been gone too long, but I'm here now.

I came across this photo a few days back, and it immediately struck a cord. Such a simple thing, yet so effective. Don't give up on the things that make you smile. If you sit down and think about it, how many of us can actually do this? Have we been able to stay true to ourselves, in the face of rationality and ambition and the demands of society and everyday life?

I better stop questioning the purpose of our existence, and move on. Here's a random list of things that make me smile:

Cooking
Poetry
Romance Novels
Painting
Travelling
Sunday Times
Chocolate
Dogs
Taylor
*
POSTCARDS (in caps for emphasis)
Doing well in an exam
Family
Rain
Stories
Ballads

How simple and silly and predictable is the list. And yet, how easy it is to end up going for months without doing any of these things, and letting your life become drudgery.

Today, I just want to tell you one simple thing - In the next 24 hours, do one thing that makes you smile, that makes you very happy, that you're crazy and passionate about. Pamper yourself, give yourself a treat, take a break. Make yourself happy.

And let me know how that went :D

I know this is not my usual writing style. I don't do philosophy and self-help and spiritual liberation and positive attitude. I don't. But sometimes everybody needs to.

Tell me about the things that make you smile. I'll be back in this space soon to rant and rave about my life, and to pound you with unforeseeable lectures and awful humour (It's so awful it becomes funny).

Please stick around! <3

Here's a comic to entice you to stay:

Source: This lovely blog : http://literaryemergency.com/

Why do we fight?

For the first time ever, this blog is going to see a post written for solely one purpose.

Venting.

Be warned, and stay away. 

Growing up, I was always someone who prided herself over not fighting with anyone, not indulging in cat fights. I always wondered why girls around me fought so much. But then, things were simple back then. I never cared about anyone or anything so much, as to fight, I suppose.

(Though there was that one incident in primary school, a fountain pen war. Don't know what that is? Let me explain. It involves blotting ink over each other's faces (you and your enemy) and white school uniforms, then bursting into loud tears in a classroom full of 100 students, then being reprimanded and sent to the washroom to clean up. And the most embarrassing part? Having to go to the wash room with your then arch enemy! And being the only one in floods of tears! Oh well. I think it's time to stop talking about repressed childhood memories)

Moving on to adulthood, how is it that we always find ourselves in a constant struggle for one-upmanship? We're always gossiping, backbiting, taking advantage, backstabbing, fake smiling, putting on shows of friendship, competing, killing, climbing the ladder, and trampling over people. We're cursing and howling and abusing and slapping and disowning best friends and swearing lifetime oaths of enmity. Think, look around, we are, most of us. We always are. In some way or another. And most of us enjoy it. We call it being 'street-smart'. The poor few who don't, are just thrown to one side and left in that corner. With a lot of fake smiles coming their way. And a couple of pitiful "Oh, she's so sweet!"s to boot.

 What I fail to understand, is that how does the person you once thought would be your BFF, turn into a person you can't see eye-to-eye with about even one single thing? I mean, HOW does that happen? What happened to the person who was there in their place before? What happened to the person I was five years back? What happened to that long phone call years ago when we both cried into the handsets and helped each other deal with life's troubles? What happened to the pinky swears? What happened to fighting with the world, for each other? What happened to always having a friend you can count on? Sigh.

I've recently gained a highly cynical world view, and am starting to doubt whether real, uncluttered, friendship without agendas even exists anymore. There's nothing much going on to renew my faith, right now.

I think in the end, we all fight because of one root cause. We all want to be loved, and appreciated. (It's either that, or money. Let's work with the former, for now). And we're ready to do anything for that little bit of love. In the process, we forget that we are cancelling out our original cause, by fighting and doing all that we do. We become unworthy of that same love.

John Mayer once sang: "If you want more love, why don't you say so?".

We should all just say so.  

On another note, more unwanted gyaan for you: The best way to judge a person, if at all you want to, is to see how they fight. (Of course, there's also that ancient piece of wisdom, "Judge a man by how he treats his inferiors". But I think the piece of gyaan I just discovered is much better).

Judge someone when they are fighting. You're angry, ready to fight, guns ablazing,  you want to prove your point, and insult the opposite person, at all costs. That is the best time to forget all your etiquette, dignity, and basic self-respect, and start hurling every swear word you know at whatever person/thing you choose to bestow them upon. People lose all sense of what's happening, and what's being said, what's being done, they lose perspective. What no one realises in the heat of the moment, is what they are doing to themselves and the opposite person, by fighting. The slightly sensible ones, tend to regret everything that happens during a fight, later. But by then it's done, and irreversible.

Losing yourself to anger is by far, the ugliest thing a person can do. Never fails to show the very, very worst in that person. There are few who can keep a sensible head in place, and fight/argue with some rational logic and without letting their anger get a hold on them. And even fewer are those who choose to walk away from a fight.

I have profound respect for all such people. Sadly, they are a very, very rare species.

And what about me, in all this, you ask? Well, I have my highs and lows. Best moments and worst. Sometimes more of the worst. I am never afraid to apologize, though. That's what keeps me sane, and going.

Also, sometimes it turns out all you need is a blog, to keep you sane and going. Spout things out on poor unsuspecting readers. In-house therapy. Always works wonders.I am now finally smiling after a long, draining day.

For you (loyal readers, who never fail to lift up my spirits), I quote, once again, Taylor Swift:

"I love you like I love sparkles and having the last word. And that's real love."

On that blog-happy note, this is goodbye.

:)

I love you, blog.

Writing by *dybern

Yes, this post was written just to say that.

I love you, blog. You're the most amazing thing I got.

You always know how to set things right, and you help me whenever I feel lost. You let me say whatever the hell I want to, no judgement. I don't know what I would do without you. Life just wouldn't be the same. So if sometimes I don't talk to you for days on end, you shouldn't worry. I can never desert you. And I would never desert you.

Like Taylor Swift once said, you're the best thing that's ever been mine.

Thank you, blog. I love you.

"The hospital experience"

I'm in love with hospitals! That's what I realized yesterday. I, love hospitals! I love almost everything about them. And I haven't even worked at or been to any of the high-end ones with modern, state-of-the-art facilities.

Hospitals are these huge systems, they're giant, well-coordinated machines. They work on well-oiled practices developed over the years. There's this camaraderie, this working relationship - friendly, good-natured, gossipy, but never invading others' privacy (well, at least not too much!), amongst everyone. From the doctors, the nurses, the patients, to the mamas, the canteen-wallas, the pharmacist, the store owners, there's this shared aura around everyone of having lived what I call, "the hospital experience".

There's glamor in almost anything associated with a hospital. At least to my mind's eye, there is. Though, I do understand that many of you might be disgusted by most of the things in a hospital. But I'm still at the stage where I feel like I'm an over-excited kid with his shiny new remote-controlled car (which for me is my hospital). There's this high I get from walking into a ward, and knowing I belong there, even if all I do is collect blood. As a student, I still wasn't quite part of the hospital, I was part of my college. So this is like a brand new world I've entered as an intern. And oh, it is so damn brilliant.

There are all these tiny little things that you can come across only in a hospital. There are beds in all the wards for the doctors and nurses to sleep in on their night shifts, and there are stoves to make chai in the mornings. Which other workplace has that? Then there are these washbasins with soap everywhere, because that becomes a basic necessity. There's a canteen/mess with all these doctors having meals at all odd hours of the day, either stuffing food before work, or tiredly gobbling something after. There are these humongous, slow-mo lifts, which are almost always overstuffed with patients. And there's always, always a temple in the complex. And it hosts poojas at regular intervals and every person on the premises gets prasad! Then there are always tons of forms to be filled everywhere, by both doctors, and patients. And yes, there is always, always, someone awake all night in a hospital!

I guess these are all the things I can remember right now. But there are more, I know. You can leave the ones you think of in the comments.

And then, of course, there are the patients. They're the biggest part of "the hospital experience". They come in all kinds and ages and varieties, each with his/her own story. They're fascinating, to say the least. If you take time to stop and notice them. Almost everyday, there's a great new story in the hospital.

I often imagine all the waiters and delivery boys in hotels surrounding any hospital would know it in and out, since they probably get tons of orders from the hungry people who are working at the hospital, especially in the night. Now imagine, you're a delivery boy working at a hotel, delivering food to people's boring doorsteps everyday, and then, one fine day you get an order for "Dr. So and So, Trauma Ward, OPD building, XYZ Hospital". Then you would go, apprehensively, with your parcel, and after much difficulty, when you reach the trauma ward, what do you find? A ward full of patients in various states of consciousness, blood spilled on the floor, most patients with lots of tubes attached to them, a lot of hustle and bustle and a lot of white all over the place...no one has the time or energy to even notice you. After few minutes of waiting, you would finally call out for the Doctor, and then he would materialize out of nowhere, in scrubs or in a white coat, and take the parcel from you. Now tell me, wouldn't you (the delivery boy) be in awe? Wouldn't you? I totally would. I would go home and tell my family this brilliant story, it would be the highlight of my day. I would have been part of "the hospital experience", even if for a few minutes.

In hospitals, there's always an unspoken protocol to be followed. Hospitals work, no, thrive, on hierarchy. Everyone is answerable to someone, everyone has someone whose orders they have to blindly follow, no questions asked. The interns are, of course, on the lowest rung of the hierarchy. We do the most menial and the least skilled medical work, have to suck up to everyone else, listen to and/or laugh at their mostly bad jokes, and tread carefully everywhere we go. Insult a senior, and you're doomed. Insult a nurse, and you're beyond doomed. That's the way things work. Don't disturb your senior unless it's an emergency. Don't order the nurse around. Don't shout at the mama. Wish them all good morning with a smile when you come in, and your day should go by noticeably smoother, trust me.

As you can see, living "the hospital experience" teaches you a lot of things, both medical and non-medical.

Well, this post has basically become a prolonged, disconnected, ramble. Suffice to say, I am living and loving my "hospital experience" to the fullest these days, and I have developed a writers' block as well. But I needed to post this. Maybe I will rework it later on.

As of now, I hereby end it abruptly.

Do let me know how you are living up your "hospital experience"?