Showing posts with label 2011. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2011. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

New perspective

This has been mainly an internship chronicles blog this past year, and yesterday I completed the last day of my medical internship. (At this point, we all shall stop whatever we are doing and get up from our chairs and do a mini-jiggly-crazy dance. 20 secs. Yes! Good. Everyone should dance in honor of me completing my internship!)

It's been a memorable year, in more ways than one, that much I can say. And no, I am not shutting down this blog, this isn't a farewell post, so stop worrying about that.

This is just a post which has no direction, as of now.

But a few things I have realized this last year. Kind of like acquiring some new gyaan, and looking at the world with a new perspective.
 

Glasses by ~Bardouv


For example, I learnt that nothing quite matches the feeling of simple satisfaction you get after a long day at work. But also that not all people get that feeling.

That one should always turn to chocolate in times of need; on bad-hair days, and otherwise.

That friends are often overrated. People grow up and change and drift apart. They fight and they hold grudges and they bite. However, at times, you do make that genuine, unconditional, plain and simple friend, who is your friend for absolutely no reason or purpose, other than being a friend. Don't forget to hold on to that person.

That sometimes, not pushing yourself to your limits, and just doing what pleases you, also works wonders. That it's too much effort to spend every waking minute being hard upon yourself.

That talking, in general, to anyone, about anything, is not really my thing.

That being taught well is a privilege you don't often get, even after five and a half years in medical "school". So those rare teachers that you come across, one should remember to respect them and to thank them. 

That there are two ways you can command respect from the people around you. Either you force them to give it to you, by virtue of your seniority, or you earn it, by virtue of your knowledge and conduct.

That even after all my pessimism, at the end of the day, I love my profession.

That writing, is my thing. My person. My backup. My hiding place. My safe place.

The best part about last year about last year has been this blog. .

That reading good poetry is one of the greatest joys in my life. It's almost miraculous how some arrangements of words can be so beautiful.

That in the end, very few things matter. But knowing what does and what doesn't, that's the clincher.

That time wasted, doing what you love, is never time wasted. Yes, that thing people always said, it was true.

That sometimes in life, we discover too late the things we truly love and the things that truly matter. And yet, there's enough joy in just the discovery itself, to make everything okay.

That, when things get bad, it's best to just turn off the lights, curl up under a cozy quilt and sleep everything off.

That, you never know when, and where, and how, you may bump into people who will change the entire course of your life, in a matter of time. And that you can never be prepared for them.

That there aren't really many pre-emptive measures in life, they're there only in medicine.

That anonymity and fame, can never both be acquired together. Sooner or later, you have to choose one.

That everyday is a new opportunity to be better.

That nothing in the world is quite like a good love story.

That being able to ignore people is a superpower like no other.

That it takes bravery to be able to sing like no one is hearing, and dance like no one is watching.

That I am not very brave, except with words.

That I can turn any post into a long philosophical ramble, with no head or tail, and publish it here.

That people will still be around to read this kind of stuff.

That I am bad at closing lines.

That....well...that's that.




Saturday, November 19, 2011

I love you, blog.

Writing by *dybern

Yes, this post was written just to say that.

I love you, blog. You're the most amazing thing I got.

You always know how to set things right, and you help me whenever I feel lost. You let me say whatever the hell I want to, no judgement. I don't know what I would do without you. Life just wouldn't be the same. So if sometimes I don't talk to you for days on end, you shouldn't worry. I can never desert you. And I would never desert you.

Like Taylor Swift once said, you're the best thing that's ever been mine.

Thank you, blog. I love you.


Monday, August 1, 2011

Catching up. And deaf culture.

I know.

Long time, no see.

I was just going through a hide - underground phase. Didn't feel like writing much. Now I'm back. And I'm rusty.

Anywho. Internship's been going on pretty much as usual and as expected. But most times I really enjoy the contact with various kinds of people it brings for me.

Now just during my last 15 day Ophthalmology posting, all I did was check the visual acuity of the patients in the OPDs. Very boring, you might think? Yeah. I guess. But you know, not really.

It's just fun coming across so many people and all their idiosyncrasies and wondering about their back stories.

And I just love it when a patient comes and wishes me "Good morning Doctor" with a really excited smile. It makes my day.

So, ophthal brought me tons of kids who thought reading out the visual acuity chart correctly was like passing in a school test, old ladies who forced their life stories upon me instead of getting tested, the relatives who tried to prompt to the patients whenever they wouldn't read correctly, the little kid who tried to cheat by peeking through her good eye every single time I asked her to read anything, the proud uncles who were too embarrassed to admit they couldn't see, and the pros who were so used to the testing they just told me up to which line they could read. And of course, the occasional lecherous old men. But yeah.

I pretty much enjoyed the experience. 

But there's one story I'm unlikely to forget. A 17 year old kid came in one day along with his father. He was thin, lanky, and otherwise looked non-descript. Once he took his seat his father informed me that he was deaf. I was mildly surprised, but didn't react. Instead I was pretty much in awe.

*More info required here* So, of late, I have taken to watching a new series called 'Switched at birth'. One of the two protagonists on the show is deaf, and the show also has a lot of other hearing-impaired characters. The show has vastly improved my knowledge and education regarding the community of deaf/hearing-impaired people, acquainted me with the kind of lives they live, and helped me develop an immense respect and greater awareness about them. It also introduced me to what is known as deaf culture, as well as to the ongoing debate in the community regarding cochlear implants.


I have never ever met a deaf /hearing-impaired person earlier in my life. So when I came across this kid, I looked at him in wonder. I know that some deaf people talk aloud, and some don't. He was one who didn't talk aloud. His dad pretty much talked for him. I also noticed that neither of them used sign language, quite unlike what I saw on the show. Neither did the kid seem to know lip-reading. But then again, this was India. So then their problems and the way they live over here and how they deal with it would be totally different. I probably still need a lot more education in this area.

Anyhow, so, back to the story. The kid sat there, a bit confused about how to proceed. I immediately got up, and started pointing out to the boxes I wanted him to read, and he immediately responded by gesturing the answers with his fingers. He looked sad when he couldn't read beyond two lines with one eye, and nothing with the other. That meant even his vision was poor.

When I glanced at his papers, his history said that he had been diagnosed with a cancer in his lymph nodes a couple of years back and was still undergoing treatment for the same. And now, from the looks of it, even his vision was receding. he didn't wear spectacles, so it had to be a recent development.

After knowing all this, I couldn't  bear to ask his father anything else. About whether he was hearing impaired since birth, since when and why was his vision receding, and how was he dealing with the cancer. How can one person have to deal with so many problems and that too so early on in their lives?

It scared the shit out of me. So I acted like a coward. I was too scared to find out what his life was like. I didn't want to know. I wouldn't have been able to bear it. So I didn't ask. I just politely sent him his way.

Hopefully I will learn better. But I have thought about him often after that.Which has obviously led to this post.

Then just a few days after that incident, I came across this quote put up in a frame inside my ENT department:

"I am just as deaf as I am blind. The problems of deafness are deeper and more complex, if not more important than those of blindness. Deafness is a much worse misfortune. For it means the loss of the most vital stimulus-- the sound of the voice that brings language, sets thoughts astir, and keeps us in the intellectual company of man.

Blindness separates us from things but deafness separates us from people."


- Hellen Keller.

While I had heard of Hellen Keller before this, I didn't really know her story very well. Researching that thought-provoking quote led me to read more about her. I am so glad that happened. Her story was one of the few truly inspiring ones I have read.

It also made me realize that the Hindi movie 'Black' must be inspired by her story. I just wish it hadn't starred Amitabh Bachchan (Yeah, I don't like him too much). Just watch this trailer and you'll see how similar the two movies must be if you've seen Black. Now I am going to watch the original movie.

Anyhow, so I am going to correct my lack of knowledge about hearing disabled people. Hopefully my post will make you want to do the same.

I guess I'll leave you now with all this food for thought. End of post.

Good night and good bye.





Sunday, July 10, 2011

THE LIST

I am finally making a list of things to do before I die. Because I woke up today morning feeling like I am wasting my life away.
Image Source: here.

 1. Publish a book.
2. Write fiction.
3. Become rich enough to afford a bad-ass camera and lenses.
4. Become a great derdermatologist.   
5. Travel a lot. (The exact guidelines for this item on the list are yet to be made)
6. Run a famous blog with an anonymous identity.
7. Have a pet.
8. Change atleast one person's life.
9. Become an  excellent teacher. 
10. Start a charity.
11. Build a hospital.
12. Watch every awesome movie ever made by mankind.
13. Attend a live music concert by an international artist I love.
14. Get in shape. As in, get fit. (I am not overweight at all, don't think like that! I just want to force myself to exercise :P)
15. Don't lose any more friends.
16. *
17. Read every book written by Judith McNaught.
18. Become a good doctor.
19. Look down (err...up?) a telescope
20. Save a life.
21. Win a poetry prize.
22.. Visit Disneyland.
23. Master the art of cooking.
24. Simulate a fairy tale at some ipoint in life
25. Send parents on vacation.
26. Design my own beautiful house.
27. Buy own car and finally be a confident driver. 
28. Visit Greece, Galapagos and the Amazon valley.
29. Read this list often. Atleast it will remind me of what could have been.

This list could go on and on. I am ending it for now and going to pursue some of my more immediate goals. But this list is an ongoing dynamic process.

This is definitely not the last you are hearing of it.

Have a blessed Sunday :)

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Looking back on June

A list of some of the things I enjoyed a lot this month.


Song of the month:
Someone like you - Adele.
I don't think I will ever get enough of this song. 


Book of the month:
Something Wonderful - Judith McNaught.
I recently discovered this romance author, all thanks to my friend Nikshi, and her books are by far the best I have read in a long, long time. Not at all like the superficial, fluffy, romances we get to read everywhere these days. She creates such strong characters and tells such beautiful stories it is difficult to not be moved every time you read her books. The one I have picked here has a story which I am unlikely to forget, ever.

Quotes from Something Wonderful:
1. "What are you looking at?" Jordan demanded finally, watching her.
"A dragon." When he looked bewildered she lifted her arm and pointed to the sky in the southeast. "Right there—that cloud—what do you see when you look at it?"
"A fat cloud."
Alexandra rolled her eyes at him. "What else do you see?"
He was quiet for a moment studying the sky. "Five more fat clouds and three thin ones."

2. "Conventionality is the refuge of a stagnant mind" - Alexandra Townsend.

3. "A lie is an affront to the soul, as well as an insult to the intelligence of the person to whom one lies."

4. "Think of my immortal soul, sweetheart. It's black and,without you here to make me mend my ways, I'll undoubtedly slip back into my old habits." - Jordan.



Movie of the month:
Hotel for Dogs.

You don't have to be a dog lover to enjoy this movie. But all dog lovers should definitely catch this movie. One of those uncomplicated, feel-good, entertaining movies that comes along once in a while. A lot of furry love, animal jokes, goofy humour, weird kids, and melt your heart moments. Sometimes it just feels good to shut down your brain and act like you're a 15-year-old with no worries in life. With this movie, I could achieve that.


Blog of the month:
In and Out of Love


Sunday, May 22, 2011

Random photographs and scratches






These are my spectacles. Can you see the huge scratch on one of the lenses? Well I got that while trying to catheterize a patients bladder at 2 am during my last emergency shift, from banging into a bedpost or something. Obviously, I was half asleep.


Thursday, May 5, 2011

Day 4 of Medical Interns' hunger strike in Maharashtra

Medical interns all over the state of Maharashtra went on a hunger strike from 2nd of May, 2011. Today is Day 4 of the strike. What started off with 24 medical interns and students on hunger strike from various medical colleges across the state, has intensified to now include about 114 interns on strike, of which 20 have been hospitalized.

The demands? An increase in the monthly stipend of interns from the current Rs. 2550, to Rs. 13000. Maharashtra is the state in the country with the lowest interns' stipend, with other states offering much higher stipends (West Bengal - Rs. 14000, Jharkhand - Rs. 9000, Delhi - Rs. 13000, Assam - Rs.12500, UP and Bihar - Rs. 7000).

Any person with even the slightest common sense would see that paying an intern Rs. 2550
 as monthly stipend is a joke. Yes, agreed internship is a part of our medical education. But why the disparity in stipends across various states? Should we suffer because we chose to live/study in Maharashtra? The Government officials say that since medical education is sponsored by the Government, we cannot expect them to pay us a good stipend as well. But if we compare the fees during MBBS in every state, fees in Maharashtra are on the higher side, while the stipend is the lowest in the country.

So if other State Governments can afford to educate their medical students and pay them a good stipend as well, are they suggesting that Maharashtra is the poorest state in the country that can't even support it's own health professionals? We know that cannot be true.

As medical students we have studied for so many years, while our peers have started working and supporting their families, and now when we finally start working, at ages of 23-24, we still can't sustain ourselves with the measly pay we get (Rs. 85/day). In a city like Mumbai, where I live, that wouldn't even get me three square meals per day. And most of us still have years of studying ahead of us.

Seeing the state apathy towards the well-being of it's Doctors, there will be no wonder if the quality of health care services goes down the drain, if it hasn't already reached there.

After repeated failed attempts to make the Government sit up and take notice these past few months, the interns were forced to go on a hunger strike. Even after that, the Government continues it's apathetic attitude.

Since the last 4 days, interns have been sitting inside a pandal at the Kamgar Maidan opposite KEM hospital in Mumbai, on a hunger strike. No-one has even batted an eyelid. Media coverage has been lukewarm, political response has been almost non-existent, negotiations with the Government have yet to begin, and the interns who are not going hungry are so relieved to get a few days off from work that they don't even come to the grounds to show their support.

Every evening, we are told that tomorrow there will be a meeting, and the issues will be resolved. Every evening means one more hungry night.

I cannot even begin to think what the people who are going hungry must be going through.
Today I am ashamed to be an Indian and a Maharashtrian, and disgusted and appalled by this state of affairs.

To all my co-interns who haven't shown up to support the strike - You may not want these demands to be fulfilled, it may not matter to you, there may be more important things going on in your life, but many of your co-interns really need this change. An increase in the stipend would make a world of change to them, and to their families back home where they live in the villages of Maharashtra. If they can go hungry for days altogether to fight for what they deserve, can't you just show up and extend your support? If and when the stipend increases, are you not going to accept your increased monthly salary? Are you going to refuse the increased stipend, like you're now refusing to show up and fight for this cause? Is it not your duty towards your classmates and friends to support them in their cause?

To the government officials - Well, I am sure none of them will be reading this, even if they are, I refuse to say anything to them. The strike should have spoken volumes, but since they haven't heard anything till now, I'm sure they're deaf.

To the media - Please, just don't ignore us. Don't write a tiny article hidden inside your newspaper just mentioning our strike somewhere.We are not asking you to support our cause blindly, but go ahead, do your research, dig out the facts, and after that, if and when you realize that we deserve what we're asking for, then you can help us by creating awareness and increasing political pressure.

The outcome of this strike will say a lot about this Government, and it will affect the state of health services in Maharashtra in the future, but more than that, more than anything else, the outcome of this strike will affect my faith and belief in my Nation and it's Democracy. Let's see where that goes from here.


 



Sunday, May 1, 2011

Looking back on April

Song of the month: 

I have two songs to share.

Athlete, with Wires,
(I don't want to risk saying anything about this song and spoiling it)

and

Jessie J, with Who You Are,
(A song with beautiful lyrics and vocals that will haunt you for days)

You should definitely go hear both the songs. Right now.



Book of the month:

Room, by Emma Donoghue.

One of the best books I have read of late.

Breaking various stereotypes, including genre, lead characters, and style of narration, it makes for excellent reading. There's no love story, no detective thriller fiction, nothing supernatural either. Written from the perspective of a five-year-old, who has not left his house (referred to as 'Room') since birth, and is the only world he knows of, with his mother, and 'Old Nick' being the only two living people he's ever met, this is a story that is both engrossing and moving. A great change from the usual crime fiction, chick-lit, Indian lit, fantasy, and Jeffery Archer which crowd Indian bookstores everywhere.Go read it, and tell me whether you like it.



Movie of the month:

Pan's labyrinth.

It's a Spanish movie. I downloaded it thanks to my endless appetite for all things magical and supernatural, though it turned out to be more like horror/war cinema/drama/psychologic thriller, along with it's share of fantasy, of course.
So yeah, that's a whole lot of genres. You may find the movie a tad long, but it was engrossing.

My scariest scene (only one which elicited any sort-of-freaked-out reaction from me) was when a man had to suture up his own cheek which had been cut and lacerated. I own up, I couldn't stand watching it, and I shut my eyes during that scene.

(Yeah, that's what my nightmares as an intern are made up of. Having to suture myself  up someday. I am petrified of the pain caused to patients while I suture them, the displeasure making me try hard to steer away from any suturing responsibilities I might have. Though I know these tactics aren't going to last long. Sigh. I guess, as of now, Surgery as a PG option is definitely out for me!)

I love Pan's character and I love the child actress. I am too lazy to tell you about the story etc. Go Google it if you're so interested. I definitely did not regret watching this movie, that's all I'm going to say.

P.S. As you can make out from this post, I obviously did not get much studying done this last month. Let's see if May can change that.



Saturday, March 5, 2011

On the mark...get set...go!!!

So, my Final Year MBBS results came out, and I have passed. Yayyy!!! :D
Couldn't post anything earlier since a virus ate up my hard disk. I would have new photos for you, except my data's still getting recovered :(

I've already finished with the first week of internship, and it's been fun. I've been thinking about what's coming in this next year, making plans, just getting into a rhythm.

So here's what I wish next year would look like:
1. All I do is complete my internship sincerely, enjoy the process, learn well, and study about whatever I learn in the hospitals everyday.
2. Post frequently on this blog, so that it takes me places.
3. Regale you (my dear readers) with lots of fabulous tales and stories from my internship.
4. Click a whole lot of photos with Troy (my camera).
5. Keep up with my friends and family.
6. Thoroughly enjoy my sisters big fat Indian wedding.
7. Watch all the great movies that will be coming out this year.
8. Write. A lot.
9. Read. A lot. Of non-medical books.
10. Just have a life.

Sigh. Whatever. A girl can dream, right?

Anyhow, here's what next year is actually going to look like, in all probability (basically it's a repeat of what last year was for me, except instead of college I will now have internship):
1. I'll be trying to do as little work in my internship as possible, so that I can study for my entrance exams in all the remaining time. There will be absolutely no need to learn anything not asked in the entrance exams.
2. Post infrequently on this blog, and gradually, I'll just end up totally deserting it.
3. "Stories? What stories? Go away, I need to solve this MCQ."
4. Troy (my camera) will be buried under a sea of books, and won't see the light of day for months.
5. I'll be avoiding all calls from all friends, and will answer everyone I know with one single phrase: "No I'm studying."
6. Develop super-powers and still keep studying as much during the big fat Indian wedding as otherwise.
7. Watch zero movies (Though I did watch a few of the good ones last year).
8. Will write some crappy articles over here to vent my frustration.
9. Won't read a single novel all year.
10. Just get admission into a PG course, somehow, somewhere.
     (Please, please, please dear God. Do you hear me?)

I hope I can strike a balance between the two scenarios I've described above.
And judging from the PG entrance results in every batch and my capacity to study, the chances of me getting admission in the first attempt after doing all of the above for the next one year, are still pretty dismal. So, it's probably at least 2 more years of this for me. Sigh.
For now, I've decided it's high time I start studying seriously. 
Let's just see how this goes, shall we?

Here I come, 2011.

On the mark...
Get set...
And...
GO!!!