It's been 16 weeks since I gave the NEET. 112 days. Almost one third of a year. No signs of the results coming out anytime soon. Seems surreal to sit and take stock of the number of days that have gone by and the number of useless things one has done with them.
And to think that an entire batch of medical graduates around the nation has been in the same state as me for the past three months; first robbed of a good two months of studying by the preponement of exams, then subjected to a torturous wait for results which have been indefinitely postponed, and an endless series of dates in the Supreme Court with no verdict in sight. I've been happily living in oblivion for the most part, but its finally getting to me. And with each day one steeps a little deeper into self-doubt and misery.
And of course the flow of well-meaning questions from people never stops, always reaching the same exact point: "And what are you doing these days?". Sigh.
To all you well-meaning people: I don't have the energy to answer and explain to you the complicated status of my professional life at the moment. And I don't need to see the judgmental look on your face at the end of my answer.
Anyways, what have I been doing?
Rediscovering myself. Making myself happy. Taking a vacation. Overdosing on romance. (Only in literature and movies, of course. Real-life romance still remains a daydream). Working, and quitting. Sleeping till noon. Earning money. Exploring new music. Shopping. Devouring novel after novel. Forcing myself to watch TV. Learning Paediatrics. Getting better. Getting fitter. Watching Hindi daily soaps.
Living the good life, apparently.
Seems I don't have much to complain about. Clearly the past few months haven't been a total waste. But I think there's only so much time a medical student can go without studying and without sleep deprived nights.
There, I said it.
In the past 6 years I've trained myself, against my will, to live and breathe in all those tomes of medical textbooks all the time. To keep giving exams on repeat. To have my head swimming with diseases all the time. To never have too much time on hand. To never have nothing to do.
So, being suddenly faced with months of nothingness, is downright absurd. The past three months have been weird. Anomalous. There's a strong undercurrent of unease. Like something's about to go terribly wrong. Like this isn't what I am supposed to be doing. That this will all turn out to be a huge prank and then disaster will strike.
Because this isn't how my life was supposed to be. No, not yet. I can't digest so much happiness and so much laziness. Too much of a good thing can kill you. So I'm pretty sure I'm dying soon if the results don't come out.
Never thought I'd say this, but I'm actually starting to miss those textbooks.
Oh, well.
Let me know what's happening to the rest of you, in the comments.
And to think that an entire batch of medical graduates around the nation has been in the same state as me for the past three months; first robbed of a good two months of studying by the preponement of exams, then subjected to a torturous wait for results which have been indefinitely postponed, and an endless series of dates in the Supreme Court with no verdict in sight. I've been happily living in oblivion for the most part, but its finally getting to me. And with each day one steeps a little deeper into self-doubt and misery.
And of course the flow of well-meaning questions from people never stops, always reaching the same exact point: "And what are you doing these days?". Sigh.
To all you well-meaning people: I don't have the energy to answer and explain to you the complicated status of my professional life at the moment. And I don't need to see the judgmental look on your face at the end of my answer.
Anyways, what have I been doing?
Rediscovering myself. Making myself happy. Taking a vacation. Overdosing on romance. (Only in literature and movies, of course. Real-life romance still remains a daydream). Working, and quitting. Sleeping till noon. Earning money. Exploring new music. Shopping. Devouring novel after novel. Forcing myself to watch TV. Learning Paediatrics. Getting better. Getting fitter. Watching Hindi daily soaps.
Living the good life, apparently.
Seems I don't have much to complain about. Clearly the past few months haven't been a total waste. But I think there's only so much time a medical student can go without studying and without sleep deprived nights.
There, I said it.
In the past 6 years I've trained myself, against my will, to live and breathe in all those tomes of medical textbooks all the time. To keep giving exams on repeat. To have my head swimming with diseases all the time. To never have too much time on hand. To never have nothing to do.
Because this isn't how my life was supposed to be. No, not yet. I can't digest so much happiness and so much laziness. Too much of a good thing can kill you. So I'm pretty sure I'm dying soon if the results don't come out.
Never thought I'd say this, but I'm actually starting to miss those textbooks.
Oh, well.
Let me know what's happening to the rest of you, in the comments.
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| Source: here |
Honest. It's alarming to see the ease with which they can talk about infinitely postponing results.
ReplyDeleteYes, it's like all of us are invisible and no one realizes the way our careers and even entire lives are hanging in the air because of this!
DeleteReminds me of the Henri Queuille quote on Politics ;-)
ReplyDeleteYou just had to leave a comment like that so I would have to google it, hai na?
DeleteAnyways, yes, very relevant quote :D
Aayushi.. you are one of my favorite "blogger" and I am thoroughly impressed with your "Creative Skills" other than blogging too!!
ReplyDeleteAs I see you mentioned.. (?? EARNING ??) are you working somewhere.. tell me more.. about that.. I am sure.. I would love to work with you some day.. :)
For me.. I went on a leave from my INFORMATICS PROGRAM at Johns Hopkins University to ponder over, issue of "AMERICAN EDUCATION BUSINESS", for $120,000 DEBT for a 2 year masters.. is Not WORTH It.. even if the Label is !!"Hopkins"!! ( but truly.. its not WORTH it )
So have Conceptualized.. a strategy to start "VIDEO.BLOGGING" which is in the format of "Philosophical Monologue".
I will soon be launching it.. once I have few.. buffer video.. then I will start POSTING.. !!
Well, all the best with your video blogging :D
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHaving the time of my life on the other side of the globe. Learning new medicine along the way. And although I feel great about it, my professional life is currently hung in the same uncertainty as yours. Let's hope we get to where we're headed! Nice post!
ReplyDeleteAmen to that!
DeleteAnd all the best to you too :)
The only kind of positive response I got in our ordeal was from a GP. She said something like its good you are free these days as doctors are usually don't have time.
ReplyDeleteEven though I have nothing to do these days I try to avoid social gatherings and meeting even close relatives as I am pretty sure someone or the other would ask me THE QUESTION.
Your GP seems to be the only person taking this so positively, like you said :D
DeleteOops "doctors are usually don't have time" Thats what happens when you comment on a blog for the first time.
DeleteShe isnt my GP. I met her at a friend's sister's dental clinic inauguration.
Oops '...doctors are usually don't have time.' Thats what happens when you comment on a blog for the first time.
DeleteShe isnt my GP. I met her at my friend's sister's dental clinic inauguration, another social do.
Very true..every word...the to do list is empty really so we fill it with things we never planned to do in the vacations.. And answering THE QUESTION is always there..
ReplyDeleteSo right, we are all doing things we never planned or imagined we would have the time to do!
Deleteyes dear, facing same condition here..
ReplyDeleteawesome piece....can resonate with every aspect u have described....and can u just check out my blog drpranitdesai.blogspot.com....and give me valuable feedback...havent been active for a while but then havent had any idea about how to promote it
ReplyDeleteYou've got to keep writing and keep sharing with your friends, that's all there is to it :)
DeleteThank you for the visit :)
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteNice post, glad I came across it.
DeleteWish you all the best, and hope your results come out soon.
And speaking as a 1st year KEM Medicine resident, I cant emphasize how sincerely I do hope for that :)
Btw, went through some of your earlier posts; very well-written. Keep it up.
And thank you for the comment, which led me to your blog :D
DeleteI am sure you VERY sincerely want our results to come out soon :D
oh warrier, get down to work already
DeleteYou know you've actually managed to give some credit to the 'life' we currently are living. My day suddenly has meaning.So thanks for that.
ReplyDeleteThe post is outrageously awesome. And ridiculously true. Like always. :P
Let me tell you this excessively rude,yet effective way to deal with aunties and uncles 'concerned' about are future(like we ever had any,but anyway): a shrug. It requires absolutely no brain power, let alone expenditure of energy to speak aloud words that do nothing to stop the interrogation. I say this from experience, a shrug catches them completely off-balance and the onus is then on them to fill the silence(no longer awkward just for u ;P). And then notice how it henceforth becomes a forbidden topic of conversation. Eureka!
I do feel like sharing more of my newfound wisdom (:D), but I also want to sound busy (:P). If this wasnt enough to prove "An idle mind is a devil's workshop."
I am definitely going to employ your technique with uncles and aunties! Seems like THE perfect solution, especially for people like me who don't want to talk anyways! A shrug and a smile and let them think whatever they want :D
DeleteAlso, you definitely managed to sound busy and all that :P
Thank you finding the time to leave a comment, madame ;)