Saturday, April 20, 2013

Rambling which led to a post about feminism

I'll jump straight to the subject matter of this post, which is....
which is...

which is...

I guess I'll just start rambling, since there seems to be no subject matter :-|

I've been learning driving...if sitting in the driver's seat and gripping the steering wheel so hard your knuckles turn white, instead of actually steering it, and braking at the slightest of flutters in the traffic around you can be called , er, driving! Anyways, it's becoming less stressful and more enjoyable with every passing day.

I've already endured 5 shouted abuses, and 106 disdainful glares from male co-drivers on the Indian roads in my 15 hours spent in the drivers seat so far. Hah, I am sure you can't beat my stats :D  Also, not to mention the, uh, *gentle* nudge on the arm I gave to a gentleman with my car. He was quite forgiving about it, so no worries there. I told you no one can beat my stats!

After reading this post, if everyone I know refuses to ride in my car, I'll understand. I would too, in your place.

In other updates, reading about Beyonce's Mrs. Carter World Tour, has had me re watching a lot of her videos, since (sadly) she's unlikely to come to India anytime soon. And also because with the NEET results nowhere in sight, I have a lot of time to waste. Her presence on stage leaves me in sheer awe. Watch this video, if you have a lot of time to waste like me, in order to understand the woman, her prowess, and why feminism suits her so much.

And that brings us to the topic of feminism. Now this is a concept equally loved and hated. Look at these examples:

How difficult is it to understand that feminism DOESN'T mean not hitting a woman back if she hits you. If a woman is out to kill you, yes, you got to save yourself!

I have realized that many men, especially young Indians, have their views on feminism that are somewhat like this: "All women are b@#%$#s. They ruin our lives, they break our hearts, they take advantage of us whenever needed, and they are hardly the hapless beings they portray themselves to be. They always get the easy way out. And then they propagate this feminism! As if we don't have enough to deal with already! They are the last people who need any help in surviving. Because they trample all over us whenever they need to anyways!"

I hear you, I do, but feminism ISN'T about her, that woman who may have manipulated you, taken advantage of you, cheated on you, or whatever they did to you! No! I am sorry if some woman did something bad to you, but that doesn't change or take away what millions of women have to go through, around the world, everyday, at the hands of men.

Read this, and try to understand:

Source: here

You still don't think feminism is needed? Go talk to the next girl you meet, and ask her. No matter how educated and privileged she may be, if she is an Indian, she has probably faced sexual discrimination in at least some form on more than one instance in her life.

Anyways, here's what I need feminism for:

1. Being told, after doing well in a college viva, that it was probably only because I am female and good looking, and the examiner was male.
2. Being told, that it is every girl's duty to excel at household work, while it is derogatory for a male to do the very same household work.
3. Having been eve-teased and groped even before I turned 15.
4. Being scared to use public transport when I am well-dressed and alone.

These are just some of my personal reasons. I am sure millions of women around the world have millions of reasons why they support feminism, most of them much, much more serious than mine. Feminism is justified, and needed. It's time for us to understand and accept that, and stop cracking jokes on the subject.

Moving on, here's a couple of petitions for you to sign regarding the NEET PG case:

Petition 1
Petition 2

Let's all hope the end to this nightmare is near. And let's all hope it doesn't end with yet another nightmare.

I will continue my rambles in the next post, now signing off.

Let me know in the comments your views about feminism, and if you're a girl, any reasons why you may need feminism, or the reasons why you are against it. 


  1. Very good post. I agree. And it would be great if all women agree as well.

  2. Hi Aayushi, I had fun reading your post. I so agree with your concept of feminism.Your examples are great...I have a couple of my own- being told, shaadi kar lo, graduation ho gaya na by regressive relatives(don't we have a life,love and otherwise) and a number of of people telling me 'no wonder your facebook status/blog posts etc are liked, you're a girl ! I guess any change will have to begin at home- I think it's unfair that, more often than not, only women cook or take care of kids. Or that men, especially in the arranged marraige scenario say, we don't want a girl who earns more than us/works late. I hope that somehow men get secure, sensible and sensitive but more than that, I hope women stop accepting the crap society throws at them. Nice post, again. Cheers !

    1. "I hope that somehow men get secure, sensible and sensitive but more than that, I hope women stop accepting the crap society throws at them."

      Amen to that.

      I think in India which is such a strongly paternal society, there is too much of a mindset, amongst both men and women, where women play the role of the weaker and dependant sex. Its changing in the cities, bit its a very, very slow change.

      Thank you for the comment :)

    2. Oh, and by the way, on the driving front, you have competition !

  3. The Host movie did not warrant a mention in ur rambling?!!! et tu aayushi? ok i overdid tht:p
    wht abt women being adjudged bad drivers simply by virtue of being women..i think women deserve special rights just for sitting by and aging, waiting for men to grow up! lol.. plus i feel the whole hitting a woman issue is void..its jus basic decency.. hitting anybody is reprehensible.. i dont want to sound like gandhiji, but seriously.. altho i do admit i have somewhat conventional notions of what a man should be..
    its jus appalling that a rapist can be pardoned because he is juvenile.. thats the sickest, stupidest thing i hav ever heard..
    i jus saw this ad in the theatre pertaining to women safety.. wher they are asking for their city to love them bak.. wher they questn y we'v never heard of a bunch of girls going off alone on an adventure trip.. quite a good presentation it was

    1. Lol, you're definitely right about waiting for men to grow up!

      And yeah totally hitting a woman issue is void only..ek toh dont hit anyone, if you're indulging in a brawl with your boys, its okay, shows how immature you are, but remember not to do that with girl! if a girl slaps you, you probably did something to deserve it! and if a woman is trying to mug you, you are allowed self defense!

  4. i jus read my comment and dude, rambling is contagious!!:p haha..

    1. And its good that it is, otherwise there would be no blog posts and there wouldn't be any comments either ;)

  5. Hi!
    I don't know if I've become hyper-observant lately but I think more and more men are ogling my friends these days. The worrying part is that I notice, and the girls don't.
    I agree with what you have written. I find it ridiculous that twentyish women who can stick a tube up a man's thing and feel his balls for lumps, should have to feel unsafe when they're outside hospital boundaries.
    I do have one grouse though (Only one!). Sometimes, when I'm rushing to catch a train or a bus, no matter how careful I am, I end up unintentionally brushing past a woman. I would elaborate about just how little and past what I brush, but I realise that isn't the point. What usually follows is a filthy look (as if all men are vagrant molesters) and sometimes a dressing-down about my lack of upbringing. Not fair, man. I can't begin to tell you the number of times women have elbowed me in the solar plexus, or punched me in the privvies. Without so much as a sorry.

    1. I totally understand your grouse! I think its very easy to make out the difference between an unintended brush and an intentional grope, if the women pay attention! But we've all witnessed all kinds of arguments from both sides, especially in BEST buses which don't have separate compartments! There have been times when I myself have pitied the men, they looked genuinely upset to have been faced with such accusations and most of them don't even know how to react in the face of a woman shouting at them and abusing them at the top of her voice.

      I don't think there's any real solution to any of these problems, all you can do is try to be on your own best behaviour when in public and in case of accidents hope that the other person takes them as just that :-|

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  9. In order to tell you that I really like this post, I had to come and comment. :D I cannot dislike this thought since I can relate it to mine. Feminism needs its true justification. I have faced eve-teasing even before 15 and now I don't even expect anyone to understand the true meaning of feminism and that its needed. I have to always wear clothes that I feel comfortable in but then I think where does comfort come from. Does it really mean my comfort in clothes or being comfortable from not being stared at? And I totally understand if its just an accident and then I even put a smile to make the other person not feel guilty. But what shall I expect and do if its intentional? So, grow up men. I pity you for your action.
    And you Aayushi, thank you for the wonderful post, like always, and you were not at all rambling.